Thursday, February 28, 2013

Honesty

Sometimes people judge me from what I write on my blog and assume I have it all together. This makes the people who actually know me laugh. I don't have anything together, I just choose to write about the good stuff, simple stuff, or lessons I've learned. My house is never clean, even though we have regular Johnston family cleaning nights. I don't always eat healthy even though we meal plan. Our budget doesn't always work and I overspend. I get angry, make incredible mistakes, and run my mouth. I was reminded again a few weeks ago that perhaps it's time for a post that shares some of my flaws.
  • I haven't been to the dentist in an embarrassing number of years. 
  • I multitask all the time. Because of this quality suffers. Quality time, quality product, and quality life. 
  • I move way too fast. Sometimes I run into people coming out of the bathroom at work or going from one place to the next. My brain is going a mile a minute nearly all day. 
  • When someone is talking to me 9 times out of 10 I'm partially listening and mostly thinking about what I'm doing to say next. 
  • I'm a strong introvert and often need to force myself to be with people because I know it's good for me. 
  • I am incredibly impatient and get angry easily. 
  • I've been known to fight dirty and treat people that I love with a lot of disrespect.
  • I make other people look or feel stupid to make myself feel smarter.
  • I can't eat just one cookie. I can usually stop by 6 when I feel disgusting.
  • I'm not as good with money as I like people to think I am. Jarrod needs to hold me accountable regularly so I don't spend all our money at the fabric store.
  • I'm incredibly stubborn and will alter the facts to make myself look or sound right. 
  • I'm judgmental and unless I agree with every decision you've ever made, I've probably already judged you. 
  • There are lots of words or phrases that I pretend to understand but have to look up later. Or I don't look them up later and I just always pretend I know what is going on. Thankfully my husband isn't judgmental and helps me out with things I don't understand.
  • My hands and feet are perpetually clammy. It's awkward. I've tried a lot of things to make it better.
The biggest one doesn't fit behind a bullet point. I am incredibly prideful. I'm so prideful that when people talk about pride, I think about everyone else. Evidently the number one way to tell if you have pride issues is to assume you're the only one without them. I am incredibly prideful - I wear it as a mask. I assume that I know best and think far too small - as if there's no room for other opinions or ideas. This week at church our pastor gave us this quote:
Pride is the only disease that afflicts every person but the one who has it.
 Jarrod wrote down the quote. He won't admit it but I know it's because I have a pride problem.

The minister is me will tell you that these are all things I'm working on. Especially the pride. And the judging. But I don't tell you these things about me to tell you I'm working on them - I tell you because this is who I really am. Hopefully it's not who I will be in 5 years, but it is who I am today.

Who are you today? If you were being 100% honest, what would you say about yourself?
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