Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Wardrobe Malfunction

On Sunday mornings we go to church. Jarrod works in the church and I work for lots of churches. We love church. But taking Wesley to church is always an adventure. Because Jarrod works there and has to be out of the house before the sun is up, Wesley and I are on our own on Sunday mornings. I try to wake up before Wesley so that I'm showered and done before he needs me. This particular Sunday morning I got a shower before he woke up, thanks be to God. My hair wasn't dry, makeup was not on, and I'd not decided what to wear, but at least I was clean!

After getting Wesley up, we ate breakfast and he managed to not get any yogurt in his hair. It was a miracle. There isn't much time for playing on Sunday mornings, but I try to occupy him with singing and stories while we get ready. He plays in his pack 'n play while I get ready so that he doesn't play in the toilet when I turn my back for .03 seconds. He isn't a fan of the pack 'n play but it's about the only time we let him watch Dinosaur Train, so he complies mostly.

This particular Sunday was just our second Sunday morning at our new church. We were going to be introduced to the church and I wanted to look the part. Pastor's families wear nice clothes, right? I opted for no pantyhose. I just can't do it. Wesley wore a cute plaid button-up shirt and I wore my Easter dress from several years ago. Check!
I should note here that I was a little hesitant about the dress. It's beautiful, but was made for a much skinnier, pre-Wesley Leanne. It is also slightly fancier than I am used to. I wasn't sure about our new church getting the wrong idea about me. I'm no where close to being put together! 
But I was so proud of us. We live quite a ways from our new church and we were actually packed and in the car with plenty of time to get there. Wesley had a snack, water, diapers, and wipes in his bag. I didn't pack a purse because two bags for one mama is one too many. We were a few blocks from the church and I reached around Wesley's carseat at a stoplight to tickle him. 

CRAP.

The strap from my dress tore at the seam. I wish I had a picture, but I have since thrown the dress away. This would be a much better blog post with a picture. The malfunction wasn't obscene, but it did make the dress not fit and showed my bra strap. I had a shawl, but that wasn't going to fix anything. Quick - could I make it back home and back in time? Nope. What to do?

I called my husband praying he had a few free seconds.

"Jarrod. It's an emergency. Please meet me in the front of the church with a stapler. That's all. Everything's fine. Love you!"

I didn't give him time to ask questions. When I arrived, carrying Wesley, his bag, and my shawl, Jarrod was standing there is his pastor's robe holding a stapler. I kissed him, he unlocked his office door, and left. Thankfully Jarrod has a hand drum in his office so Wesley was occupied for a few minutes. Jarrod also has a window in his office door...

So, I climbed into Jarrod's office closet, leaving the door cracked just enough for light and to hear Wesley banging the drum. "Good job, little man!" I say as I take off my dress. It doesn't come all the way off, just enough to turn around to staple the seam back in place. Three good staples and we're good to go again! I wrap myself in the shawl, pretending it's for warmth even though my blood pressure is keeping me quiet warm, and off we go! 

Wesley's dropped in the nursery and I'm only a few minutes late to Sunday School. It's such a glamorous life!

I'm linking my confession up today with Heather at Cookies for Breakfast.
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2 comments:

  1. Hahahahahaha I am literally LOLing!!!! This story is too funny! "Meet me with a stapler! Everything's fine!" Hilarious!

    If it makes you feel better, I had too much to drink at my friend's wedding and danced so hard that my strap tore on my dress, and I was prancing around the dancefloor unknowingly showing everyone my entire bra - the entire front of one side of the dress was folded down and I had no idea. Thank god I actually had a bra on. SO EMBARRASSING!

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  2. That is hilarious! I mean, NOW it is. I can imagine it wasn't funny in the least during the moment :) Thanks for sharing--great laughs on a rainy day! One of the first time my now-hubby and I attended an event together, the strap on my dress broke (thankfully it was winter, so I had a tee on under it) and I had to sit stock-still with one shoulder hitched up so the strap wouldn't fall down. I hope it never happens again!

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