Friday, November 8, 2013

Mom Imperfect.

A few weeks ago a friend posted a Facebook status about how stressful Halloween is for moms because everyone else makes it look perfect. Because of Pinterest and social media, it looks like everyone else has it all together. She posted how things were really going at her house and it was inspiring to me. I posted how things were really going at our house.
Wesley threw his cereal bowl because I made him drink more milk before getting more cheerios. He was very angry, which is okay, but throwing is not. Breakfast was immediately over. He ran around the house singing and playing, which was very cute, but completely ignored my requests to get his shoes on for school. We arrived at school and he decided it was lunch time. And SCREAMED. His teacher told him she wanted a better day than yesterday...because yesterday he was "busy" which is teacher for "didn't listen." He screamed and screamed - no amount of distraction was working. I tried to talk to him calmly without success. So I left my screaming child in the arms of another mama, apologizing profusely for his behavior...today and yesterday. He may have a homemade Halloween costume, but things are far from perfect! 
I think sharing stories like this can be healing. The comments that I received that day were of solidarity. We see perfect pictures and hear only the best stories about other families. Comparing the best of someone else to the worst in ourselves is painful and debilitating...and ultimately completely unfair.

For this reason, I want to start sharing every week or so a great mom fail story with you. I'd like to call it Mom Imperfect. I'll never be a perfect mom and am completely comfortable with sharing my imperfections. I think if we all shared a little more of our imperfections the world would be a better place.

My first story is epic. While it was happening it was just too awful to do anything but laugh...

How we ended up here really isn't important, but it was 3pm on a Tuesday and Jarrod, Wesley and I are in the waiting room of CareNow. None of us were sick, appeared to be sick, or feeling sick. Then I smelled something...Something awful...

Wesley pooped. And it was bad. He was already in his 3rd outfit of the day, corduroy overalls. I looked at Jarrod with panic. We'd come straight from school and only had his school bag, not his diaper bag. We literally had nothing with us at all. We asked the front desk if there was any chance they had diapers - preferably a size 4. Nope. Definitely not.

So I left Jarrod and the smelly kid in the waiting room and ran to Target across the street. I purchased a small box of diapers and wipes. I booked it back to CareNow. Jarrod and Wesley were already in a room. Awesome...

This is where things get a little insane. The nurse is asking Jarrod questions. Does your family have a history of heart disease, cancer, explosive poop, or hand-foot-mouth disease? While he is answering, I am surveying the situation. Poop is literally everywhere. I am wiping poop off of Wesley's legs and trying to maintain my composure for the nurse. Eventually I get the dirty diaper off of Wesley and he's clean enough for a new one. But there is poop all over his overalls. Those come off and I notice there is also poop on his shirt. Off that comes as well. Wipe-wipe-wipe.

WTF.

We have no clothes. We haven't seen the doctor yet. We smell like poop.

Jarrod remembers a t-shirt in the car. He runs to grab it while I continue to clean poop. I haven't seen a situation like this in a very long time. Jarrod is back and I've already turned the paper on the exam table. Poop everywhere.


Wesley is happy as a clam in his socks and chuck taylors. We get a clean t-shirt on him and I put the poop shirt in my purse. Winning.
By the time the doctor came in, we have the poop mostly contained to my purse and the trash can. Wesley was happily watching Dinosaur Train in Jarrod's lap and we'd forgotten he wasn't wearing pants. The doctor took one look at Wesley and knew he wasn't sick. We got the note we needed and we were back in business.

Of course, not without sitting in the waiting room for 30 minutes without pants. Just Wesley. Jarrod and I were both fully clothed. :-)
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