Wesley is 3 years old. We've been very open with him about Eloise's adoption. He knows her birthmom and calls her birth grandma "Grams". We haven't hid anything from him, but we acknowledge that he's very young and isn't necessarily processing any of what is happening. I take any opportunity to share with him the unique ways both he and Eloise joined our family. I want him to know that being adopted is very special and growing inside me is very special. I don't want to dwell on how they came into our family, but do want them to know their unique stories so that they can be confident in who they are and how special they are to us.
Typically the conversation goes like this:
Mama: Wesley, you know that you grew in my tummy, right? And Eloise grew in Birthmom's tummy and we adopted her. Remember that day, Wesley? When we went to court with a judge and the zoo?
Wesley: I'm adopted!
Mama: Um, no. Not exactly. But you're still very special, Wesley.
Wesley: Yes, mama. I'm adopted!
Mama: Yes. That's right.
The other night, as we were driving to church, Wesley began talking about when he was a baby. I seized the opportunity to talk about when he was born.
Wesley: Mama, I was a baby. Do you remember?
Mama: Yes, Wesley, I do! You grew in mama's tummy and you were born. You were very little.
Wesley: Yes, mama. I had a paci and I was little. I was born, mama, you remember?
Mama: Yes! After growing in mama's tummy, you were born and you were very little.
Wesley: I born in a fire truck!
Mama: Really? Wow! Tell me about that.
Wesley: Yes, mama. In a fire truck. There was lots of water! You remember, mama?
Mama: Well, yes, there was water...
Wesley: I born in a firetruck.